I was going over the comments in YouTube, and I found one comment who was a bit disappointed with the singer because she couldn’t reach the high notes. Actually, I was wondering how she pulled this off without laughing. After watching this video, I will never sing this song in karaoke. If I ever do, I’ll either laugh out loud or sing the literal version instead. Wahaha!

(You can get a text version of the lyrics under the cut.)

Here’s the literal lyrics!

(Pan the room.)
Random use of candles, empty bottles, and cloth,
and can you see me through this fan?
(Slo-mo dove.)
Creepy doll, a window, and what looks like a bathrobe.
Then, a dim-lit shot of dangling balls.

(Metaphor?)
Close-up of some candles, and dramatically posing.
Then, stock footage of a moon in the sky.
(Bottle shot.)
Messing up my close-up with a floating blue curtain.
Now, let’s see who’s coming in from outside.

(Double doors open)
Why aren’t I reacting in this shot?
(Ringo Starr? Lined eyes.)
Guess I should be acting, but I’m not.

(Doors ajar.)
Wander through a hall with doors that magically open,
and this classroom has a fan.
(Open shirts.)
Now it’s getting creepy.
You can tell by my staring,
it’s a long time since I’ve been with a man.

(Stupid chair.)
Emo Kid is throwing Slo-Mo Dove at my face.
I guess that means that he just flipped me the bird.
(Locker room.)
Staring at the swim team gets you killed by a gang
of dancing ninja men who know how to twirl.

(Spin around. Ninjas!)
Then, a bunch of preppies make a toast.
(Drinking wine. Douchebags!)
Most of it just ends up on the floor.

And they shouldn’t fence at night
or they’re gonna hurt the gymnasts.
Why do they play football inside?
Here’s another shot of fencing.
And I’ve mostly been lit from behind.
Watch these shadows run off.

I walk onto a terrace where I think I’m alone.
But Arthur Fonzarelli’s got an army of clones.
(Fonzie’s been cloned!)
They do the Macarena,
but I’m still not impressed.
They beg for me to dance with them,
but not in this dress!
I’ll pose like Rocky tonight!
I’m running up a bunch of stairs.
(Strip football, and surprise mirror!)

Here’s where I pretend to be Eva Peron.
Look at me, I’m lifting my arms.
There’s nothing else to shoot,
so zoom camera under this arch.
Leaning on myself, because there’s two of me here.
But now there’s only one on this shot.
I pull my feathered hair
whenever I see floating cloth.

[Instrumental, but dascottjr inserted some literal dialogue.]

(Blind possessed choir boys.)
Get out of my way! I’ve gotta pee!
(Zombie cult!)
Never mind. I just went on the floor!

Now I need to find a mop!
(Look at me now!)
Emo Kid wears too much makeup.
Now, watch a bunch of half-naked guys
(Hairless chests.)
As they dance around in diapers.
And I’ve joined the Glee Club of the Damned.
(Reference joke!)
Look, the fog machine’s on!

What kind of private school would let in these kind of guys?
It started out as Hogwarts,
now it’s Lord of the Flies!
(I hated that book.)
I’m swaying side to side.
These dancers need to stop.
The gayest man on earth would call this over the top!
I whip my head to the right!
I’ll never go to church again.
(I think I lost a contact lens.)

When did spazzing out qualify as a dance?
Kneeling like I want to throw up.
What the effing crap?
That angel guy just felt me up!
Here’s a line of guys. I was wearing a dress.
But now they’ve got me wearing a suit.
(One kid’s running late.
I think he’s too young for this school.)

I’m totally shaking his hand.
(Mullet with headlights?
Over-surprised guy.
Weirded out…)

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I was impressed with Adam Lambert’s version of Mad World. Haunting, just haunting. It’s not just his singing that impressed me: it’s the overall package. And as I watch his other performances, I can see his versatility. He can sing any type of song, damn.

A lot of people I know are annoyed by his shrieks, though. I don’t mind, although I have to admit that there are also times that I wished that he would just stop shrieking. But putting that aside, I admire his creativity in his every performance.

Kris Allen, on the other hand, only caught my attention when he sang Falling Slowly. Beautiful song, and it suited him perfectly. Why, I searched for the movie Once just to learn more about the song. And to be honest, I like Allen’s version even better than the original.

The judges were a bit unfair about Kris during the latter parts of the competition. I can’t help but sympathize with Allen, he’s just so likeable.

Who do I want to win? I don’t really know. Kris Allen is good for those easy-listening moments, the kind of background music you would like to hear while curled up with a good book. On the other hand, I would play Adam Lambert to get me pumped up in the morning, jogging or maybe cleaning the house.

But wow, they sound good together! I love their duet towards the end of the results night. Can’t we just have a tie and have them both as idols this year? I’m sure the “Kradam” bromance fans would love that.

So who won?

KRIS ALLEN

Wow. Nice show, both of you. Congratulations to Kris, the dark horse of the competition! In any case, I’m sure that both of them will have a nice career ahead of them, just like what happened with the two Davids last year.

One final note. They have to do something with that so-called “winning” song. Come on, it’s too high for Kris. Have you no pity? Haha.

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Allow me to go through the history of the national anthem. The original version was written in Spanish by Jose Palma in 1899, a time when the Philippines just gained independence from the Spaniards’ more than 300-year rule. It was translated in 1919 to English when the Americans took over. Then it was translated to Tagalog in the 1940s, revised in 1956 and again in the 1960s, and the last revision serves as the present national anthem.

Aside from the Tagalog version, I used to sing the Spanish and English versions of the national anthem as well. However, I never noticed this until now. This line,

Ang mamatay ng dahil sa ‘yo.

can be translated as follows:

To die because of you.

Now, isn’t there a negative connotation with this phrasing? It’s as if you are blaming your country for your death (if it ever comes to that). A more proper line would have been:

Ang mamatay para sa iyo.

for it translates to:

To die for you.

If we look at the last stanza of the national anthem,

Lupa ng araw, ng luwalhati’t pagsinta,
Buhay ay langit sa piling mo,
Aming ligaya na pag may mang-aapi,
Ang mamatay ng dahil sa iyo.

Isn’t it more nationalistic if the last line is “Ang mamatay para sa iyo” instead? That would mean that in the face of aggressors, you are willing to die to defend your country. I can’t help but think that you are blaming your country for your death if you used the words “dahil sa iyo.”

I don’t mean to disrespect the people involved in the creation of the anthem. As I said, this was just a random thought. Hey, if there is a new version of the UP hymn “UP Naming Mahal” to make it more relevant, why not a revision of the national anthem as well?

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